All posts filed under: Homestead

Our Story: Uprooted to Grounded

Published by BleuBird Mama

Today I’m sharing more of our story. How we got to where we are now and why we savor these moments of rest and grace. Some know our story, but many do not know the extensive crumbling that brought about a forged foundation. This time last year we were desperate to move. To move on, to move away. We’d been living in a quaint tiny town, up on a hill in a blue gingerbread-style house, with our old black lab and our young yellow lab, and we’d been there two years since the day we got married. On snow days I’d walk down the street to visit my friends for hot chocolate, and for my midwifery appointments I’d walk to the other side of town. We lived the Mayberry life and we were happily content there, except that… Our marriage underwent constant upheaval. We married late October 2012, Manly left three months later for military training February 2013, and he didn’t come home for seven months; when he finally came home he was detached and …

Keeping Calm: Coloring On

Published by BleuBird Mama

This morning my dogs and my baby woke me at 6am and neither party had any interest in sleeping past o-dark-thirty. I flopped about on my pillow, trying to ignore the whimper at the door and the gurgling coos from the bassinet. I thought to myself, “If I get up with these hooligans now, how many cups of coffee will I need to survive?” Alas, I knew better than to give into the desire for loads of caffeine, since it makes my mind race and gives me heart palpitations. I opted for waking up on the right side of the bed – determined to start the day fresh and with that good ol’ verse of purpose – “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it!” I made the bed for starters; for some reason if I take the time to just do that then I gain momentum to keep going. I dressed the Little Person, made myself breakfast, took care of the animals, baked bread, tidied up …

Friday: Junk Food

Published by BleuBird Mama

TGIF! So that means: be lazy, don’t sweep, eat junk food, cruise through Costco. FTW! Manly will be tied down for the next week, so we took advantage of this crazy fog and celebrated despite the freeze. For a mother who literally got four hours of sleep the night before, I didn’t feel too shabby today! Little Hiccup sleeps pretty well except for when her apnea monitor alarms constantly for three hours straight. Then nobody sleeps well and we’re all pins and needles! Like last night…. Since Baby E was in the NICU for six weeks after she was born, we requested a home monitor so that we would be aware of a slow heart rate or episodes of apnea. Fortunately, she doesn’t often stop breathing for twenty seconds at a time, but when she has she self recovers without needing physical stimulation. Likewise with the slower heart rate. Well…. Last night her heart dropped below 70 beats per minute multiple times in succession. I fell asleep around 10:30, woke up to her first alarm at 11:00, …

Pottery: First Fruits

Published by BleuBird Mama

Well, I’m still dreaming of a white Christmas, so I thought I’d post some pictures of snow 😉 These are actually pictures of the first fruits of my pottery from winter 2014. After Heidi passed, I needed to work with my hands. I love to work with my hands. I especially needed to work when my hands were empty. Kneading, pulling, pressing, shaping clay became my therapy. It was work I could throw myself into in order to understand myself better, understand my Maker better. …O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are the Potter; we are all the work of your hand. -Isaiah 64:8 For years I’d claimed as a life motto that I was clay in God’s hands, that I was being shaped by Him for a good purpose, that I was vessel of His own design. I’d never needed more to have tangible interaction with that deep spiritual meaning than when my identity as a mother changed in an instant. Instead of feeling abandoned by the Divine …

New :: Year

Published by BleuBird Mama

Maybe I’m like you, or you’re like me, or however it goes. Maybe you and I both get oober excited about the new things and New Year’s Resolutions! True confessions: every year I make a list of projects I want to accomplish, places I want to go, events I want to plan, and I always get a planner book so that I stay on track and stick to the calendar. You see, I love to have fun, all-year-long, so sometimes I get just a little carried away with having fun. If I keep a ledger for myself then I’ll remember that in the Spring I need to clean the house and not travel every weekend, or I’ll remember that I have to save money for my beach trip and not spend that money on a new seasonal wardrobe. The calendar keeps me structured and focused. Otherwise, I might end up on a cruise to the Bahamas in February on a whim ;P As Baby E gets older and a set routine suits her better, I …

Birthday: Cupcake Recipe

Published by BleuBird Mama

Cupcakes for a child’s first birthday? Yes, please! But for a child who is not at her birthday party and is already in Heaven? …Why celebrate at all much less make cupcakes? My husband and I feel it appropriate to both mourn that our daughter has been gone from us for one year while at the same time celebrate that she has been in Heaven for one year. We didn’t have a big birthday party for Heidi with cake and candles and streamers and toys. But we did acknowledge in our own way that it was her birthday and a very special day for us; we remembered her amazing birth and her precious earthly life and her presence in our family. I very much enjoy baking, which I’m sure you will see several posts about on the blog (see past posts Loot: Savory Savings & Breakfast: Peaches & Almonds). Baking is one of my creative outlets, and I felt I needed do something creative in memory of Heidi since I couldn’t plan a big fun girl party for …

October: the 15th

Published by BleuBird Mama

Today is “National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Day.” Today, like every day, we thank God for our precious Heidi Lee. We deeply mourn her absence as well as gratefully rejoice her presence with the Saints.   This October day has been like most days here at Bluebird Haven. We’ve been working on our various projects around the house… I am not doing the knitting for this project *sigh*. I don’t have nimble fingers for this sort of thing though I do love to knit when I have the time to focus on it. My knitting-machine friend over at Slouch Babies (check out her Facebook page!) is going to use these two skeins to make a cap, sweater, and leggings for EveyBaby. I had originally ordered these colors from Knit Picks last year as an “art and grief” project for myself, since I’d used lavender gray for Heidi’s nursery. Everley will get to sport her big sister’s style 😉 We started off our day making faces with Little Hiccup. Her project of late has obviously been GROWING! …

Loot: Savory Savings

Published by BleuBird Mama

Last night I went up to the next town over for an Essential Oils presentation at my Chiropractor’s office; even though I overslept my nap hour, I did make it in reasonable time and found the session to be very helpful. This presenter was focusing on the proper and most effective use of oils for emotional needs, which I found to be beneficial for me as I’d like to use a few types to calm myself and focus my mind during labor. More on that in another post … After that little shindig, I dropped by Target for a look-through of their crib linens and curtains. I had been intending to buy all the nursery linens from this company that I discovered via Etsy, however, I finally decided the collection of items would be way more expensive than necessary. They are things that we would certainly reuse with other babies, but I wasn’t sure that was the financial investment I should make at this time. Since we are renting our home, I felt it best …

DIY: Autumn Homemade

Published by BleuBird Mama

So Autumn is here and as my engineer astronomy-enthusiast father likes to remind me with the change of season, “The Autumnal Equinox will take place and then it will be officially Autumn. I will be happy to announce it to you the day it happens.” Thank you, Dad, for always staying in synch with the forces of nature, as it were. I am sort of “in touch” myself here on the other side of the mountain.