All posts tagged: mamahood

When: You’re Two

One of my favorite phrases as a mom is, “You know, when you’re two you’re two.” 🤷‍♀️ You’ve gotta hand it to those toddlers- life is not always easy at that age; they’re curious and vivacious and sometimes frenetic and pretty clueless about how most things actually work in the world. They’ve got all the fuel they need to run a country, but they’ve got no skills to do it 😂 My current toddler is a real hoot. He’s got a passionate personality, he learned full sentences before two-and-a-half, and he’s got brawn coupled with a very tender heart. But, you know, when you’re two you’re two. In other words- there’s so much depth to those toddlers, so much to their heart and their mind and their soul, but they’re just two. They’ve been on this Earth for only two years. They have so little experience. And yet they want to do so much. Our little family lives on a fair amount of land, and our house is situated further back off the road, and …

Scrapes :: Bumps

Today I told my daughter “Fear is not your friend. Scrapes and bumps are part of the game of life.” Mind you, all she was doing was learning to ride her bike with training wheels. She’d taken quite a tumble a few minutes prior while going down a steep incline. When she fell I held her close and soothed her, and the first thing I said after the wails had quieted was: “You know what, though??? You did AWESOME!!! I am so proud of you for going down that hill, even though it was hard to do.” I want my children to know and accept that life is hard. Sometimes it’s complete shit, but I don’t say it to them like that at this stage of life. I just give them gentle reminders that scrapes & bumps will happen; there will be sad days; there will be disappointments and foibles; there will be mistakes and down-right naughtiness; life will kick you in the pants. Life can be so hard. But before they accept that ^ …

Shore :: Eternity

I shared all the nice moments on Instagram. And I locked up all the not-nice moments in my head. That’s just how we do it, isn’t it? We share about the delicious cannoli and we don’t share about the argument we had trying to find the delectable pastry shop. It’s not a Millennial thing we do. It’s a human nature thing we do. I had great expectations for our vacation this summer- I brought my health magazines to finally read, I packed some of my favorite outfit items, I brought healthy snacks for the family, I looked forward to quality time with my husband. Ha. I have a two year old and a ten month old. My expectations weren’t necessarily high and lofty. They just had to be flexible and shift with the tide.  One of my absolute favorite things in the world is the ocean. I love the sound of it, I love being in it, I love being near it, I just love the sea. When I’m driving to the coast, it is …

Easter: Pictures & Prayer

Have I left any of you IGers (Instagrammers 😉) in suspense of what our Easter pics look like? I really wanted to post them the day of, but time stopped while I enjoyed my family, and then the week took off without the down time. Soooo *drum roll please* 🥁 Below 👇🏻 are some of my favorite shots from this Easter. But first ☝🏻 a picture from last year: As I thought about this past year -from Easter 2017 to Easter 2018- I was reminded of God’s GOODNESS. And this is a big deal for me to say because I often say to him, “Well, I believe that you’re kind and that you’re gracious. But I don’t know about just down-home good.” It’s like the conversation between the Pevensie children and the Beavers in the book The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe: “Is he safe?”, the children ask, to which the Beaver replies, “Safe! Oh no. He’s not safe. But he is good, very good.” And so it is for me- doubt comes in …

Letter: Being Two

Good morning, Little Person. If there comes a day when I’m not with you and I can’t be your Mama on earth, I hope you’ll read these letters. I hope you’ll see wisdom and your Mama’s silly ways; I hope you’ll hear Truth and Love and Grace; I hope you’ll feel loved and understood and feel connected, even if we can’t be for some reason. I hope you’ll laugh and maybe even call me ridiculous 😉 For today I’m with you and you’re two, and I’d like for you to know now that you’re old enough to read this- sometimes I don’t like it when you’re two. Lord have mercy. (I repeat that phrase often throughout the day, because I’m serious- we need mercy.) I’m up in the nursery feeding your brother who’s seven months and you’re downstairs listening to an audio book. I can hear the bang of wood against wood as you keep pushing yourself away from the kitchen table while strapped into your high chair since you’re supposed to be eating breakfast …

God: With Me

It’s been a year now since I was pregnant with my Little Bear, and it’s taken me that long to process how truly difficult those nine months were. Carrying him was such a deep -and dark at times- struggle. I did not want to be pregnant that year. Since Heidi and Everley were born seven months apart, the last thing I thought wise would be to conceive when Everley was just over a year old. Turns out, I was right. My body took a beating with the third pregnancy. I had multiple infections- one of them was in my finger nail which limited me in many ways and was a slow painful process to heal. My stress levels were through the roof- I couldn’t sleep normally anymore; I couldn’t relax in social situations; I felt lonely and scared and fearful all the time; I desperately wanted to give birth at home but my husband couldn’t emotionally invest in my fears & hopes; I was constantly tired and at times emotionally distant from my toddler daughter. …

Potter :: Mama

I’ve scrounged up the time -in the business of motherhood and life itself- to throw on my wheel, which is located in a corner of my parents’ basement. They live in the suburbs of this area just six minutes from my place out in the country. Eventually, we have plans of building here on our property a studio for me, one large enough for my work but also for the kids to hang out in. Until then…. I intermittently have opportunities to work in my makeshift studio that butts up to my dad’s office (what he always dreamed of- having his married daughter come back home to work in his office space 😉 ) I’ve been thinking to myself about my work as a potter and my work a mother. I love both jobs. I have a passion for them both. I have a passion for a lot of other things as well such as public speaking, Vision Therapy, brain development, and watercolor painting. But for now, at this stage of my life, I’ve picked …

Kids: Don’t Keep

I’m the sort of mom, whether it’s positive or negative, who likes to get things done- finish that pile of laundry, clean up the bathroom, do my Bible study, take the trash out, go for a walk outside- keep on truckin! But that just wasn’t happening this morning. I tried getting to my list, but my toddler kept getting in the way. “Want to wash hands, Mama!” “I need a snack, Mama!” “I want to wash Silky, Mama!” “Help, Mama!” Inside this was me: 🙄😑😖😤☹️😩 That list just wasn’t happening and being a Homemaker was right out the window with the window-washing (that I haven’t done…. like, ever). I stopped in my tracks and asked myself, “What have the voices of wisdom told me about parenting?” I heard from my mind’s memory box my former pastor’s wife tell me that when she finally had children after years of waiting that she was ready to have her life turned upside down and that she enjoyed every minute of raising three boys; I heard my longtime family …

My: Christmas Gift

The Christmas gift that God had in the works last Christmas. Having another baby wasn’t on my wish list. I’m amazed when I look at him now, snuggled up by our tree. Last year was SO hard. I felt like I was reliving two of my nightmares all over again- losing Heidi and almost losing Everley. I just didn’t know what to do with myself- all my fears and all that pain. But Christ has prevailed with his plans yet again. I am grateful. From the bottom of my heart I am grateful that he’s carried me and that he’s given such a dear gift to treasure 🎁 Jesus is the reason for the season. -BBM

Picture: a day

I’m going to be trying a new thing here on my blog- Posting a picture a day with a few thoughts attached to it. I’ve used my Facebook blog-page as a “sounding board” or “launch pad” for some topics that I’d like to write more about. But I really love my little blog -it started out like a craft project for me or like a collage of pictures and artwork from my home- and I want to continue using this place for most of my writing. The reality at this stage of my life with such young children is that I rarely have time to put two thoughts together much less finish a sentence. Some of you readers know of this dilemma 😉 So I’m going to attempt sharing simple thoughts and perspective from little snapshots in my part of the world. I hope you’ll tune in next time as I journal along this journey of having a family, living with grief, learning from God, and throwing with clay… all while renovating an old farmhouse …