Month: July 2016

Pattern of :: a Weathered Life

Fussy, teething, desperate-to-nap babies don’t do so well at church. While she rests and restores with morning slumber, I rest and restore in quiet reflection.  As I read the scriptures, snuggled up in my blue painted couch, I’m reminded of the storm that blew through our fields yesterday… And the correlation to the storms that have blown through our life in the past four years… Manly and I will celebrate four hard-earned years this October. By our third anniversary we’d been separated for a total of ten months, conceived two daughters, burying one a healthy child and watching the other hang by a thread in the hospital. We hardly knew each other though we’d lived a thousand lifetimes together.  We had a choice: to either weather the storms together or run to our own shelters. There have been times when we’ve done one instead of the other. There are periods when the storm is too intense for an individual soul and it’s, therefore, best to retreat alone. But we’ve always had a heart -even in …

Discouraged :: Encouraged

Who doesn’t love a good book and a good yoga routine? Well, I’m sure there are some of you who ┬ádon’t love those particular things and would rather do other things to start off your day, so if that’s the case comment below and share what you like to do with your morning! Last night I determined to set my alarm for 6am. It’s unusual and envious, I realize, but my near-one-year-old goes to bed early at night and wakes up late in the morning, so that affords me a little alone time that’s not just for cleaning and sleeping myself. I actually hate getting up early; I just don’t know how to start my day with energy; I’m a deep sleeper and I’m super groggy when I first wake up. But this morning, even though I didn’t sleep particularly well last night due to anxiety, I got up 45 minutes after my alarm (that’s a good record, seriously), fixed up a 4 ounce cup of coffee (that’s all this irregularly beating heart can handle), …

Heart Ache :: Take Heart

Weeks have gone by without writing, because I’ve been savoring this sweet summer with my nearly one-year-old daughter. Though I live the typical cloistered motherhood life for now, I choose not to disconnected from the newsfeed of the world. Something I remember registering when Heidi passed so suddenly was that I was not the only one suffering, in tremendous pain, unspeakably devastated, questioning God. It felt like the world around me was silent, content, and peaceful, but even though I “felt” that way didn’t mean it was true. The truth is I met and continue to meet people who are suffering serious hardships. The truth is – the world is always suffering, because it’s tainted by evil. This Sunday morning, a breezy July day, my husband and I woke up late and after much discussion resigned ourselves to staying home for personal, rather than corporate, worship. We played some uplifting music and then sat on our porch to watch an online sermon. The moment seemed so tranquil but the message was not about tranquility. Rather …