The winter has been, in a way, a relaxing time; we don’t work as much on the property when the ground is frozen and the hours of light are shorter. But the winter has been exhausting for us, too, because we’ve had to make some changes in our plans and dreams, we’ve had to re-evaluate our boundaries & limitations, we’ve had to emotionally invest in taxing ways.
At this time I’m not able to divulge about all the changes, but take my word for it, we’re in a slow processing mode right now. That’s one of my favorite terms for life: processing. We just don’t give enough credit for how important “processing” is and how much effort and energy our little human brains make in processing life. In order to accept challenges and changes, we have to process it, and that takes time for all of us.
I have certainly learned this in grief, and I continue to learn this about myself as a wife & mother. I slowly process new demands in my responsibilities, changes in my energy levels, added stresses and adjustments my husband experiences with work, shifts of mood and maturity in our marriage. I find myself “in my head” a lot, reading and painting and creating, while asking, “Where is this all going? When is this all going to make sense? How do we handle this now? When will I have better perspective of my valleys and peaks?”
The maturing process in life is hard, and really it never completes itself. It’s a lifetime cycle. But at least I’m encouraged that we’re changing for the better and always learning something new that helps us in the long run. What more could we ask for, right?
I hope you’ve had a breath of fresh air in your life lately; and even if your life is like a breeze for now may you have what it takes to process the winds of change when they meet you at the next horizon.
-BBMIn the hands of the potter,