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God: Gets It

Wanna see what I’ve been doing today?? I post my raw photos here on the blog but the edited ones are on Instagram, if you want to hit me up (📸bleubirdmama). I’ll give you some anecdotes for these shots…

First, this is by far the strangest thing I’m doing today: 

I am pregnant with our third and I’m calling this the pregnancy of infections. I’ve had a touch of something unpleasant with each of them; all women experience their immune system being compromised in at least the first trimester. With Heidi I contracted the flu twice in one month’s time; with Everley I had strep throat; with this little person I’ve had a random fungus or some kind of infection in my big toe as well as a cyst become inflamed as well as random bouts of vomiting as well as a staph infection in my thumb. Uggggg. It’s not been a fun pregnancy thus far. 

I went to see a podiatrist about my toe to find out if there was a way to kill off the infection, but of course there isn’t a safe way for a pregnant lady. The doctor simply suggested taking the entire nail off. Ha! Right. Like I’m going to do that. My husband has been working a ton lately due to job requirements, so I’m stranded with a 22 week belly, sickness, a toddler, and animals to care for. I’ll keep my toe, thank you. 

So, that picture is proof that I am trying out a homeopathic remedy for my nail infections. I’ll let you know how my case study goes on myself. My friends who are more or less experts on the research & techniques of homeopathy made some suggestions. I’ve made a paste with manuka honey, which is a strong bonding agent, activated charcoal, and tea tree oil. This paste is intended to draw out the infection, which mostly comes by the charcoal and the oil. Both are effective for toxic substances. So there you have the explanation for my strange photo and some hopefully intriguing information about home remedies. 

My mornings are mostly spent with Everley- we take our vitamins and try to eat a healthy breakfast; sometimes we listen to music and read books; I’ve done the rare thing of taking a shower and making myself look nice today. Since it’s such a nice morning, Everley took the egg basket with her to the coop to collect the eggs (although I’m the one who actually does the job since the nesting box is up high and it’s messy in the coop). 

The spring has really turned out lovely here. One of the many reasons we chose to buy this place. The coop shed-structure you see here has been on the property for many years; in fact all the buildings here are about 100 years old or a little less. This building for the chickens was orginally a shed next to the horse run-in (a storm shelter adjacent to the pasture you see in above photo). Soon we’ll have a large area around the coop fenced in so they don’t free range all over the property; eventually we’ll build a much nicer coop. For now, we have fresh eggs every day and that’s nice enough. 

My poor parents who just moved into a retirement community five minutes from my house have been dealt a heavy blow of health complications. My mom has been suffering from sciatica for two weeks now, and my dad has had both sepsis and a UTI that has not responded to three different types of antibiotics. It’s been pretty rough for all of us this spring. Sadly, I don’t feel super well so I’m not jogging, hiking and gardening as I’d hoped I would be; and my parents are hobbling about, attending doctor appointments, and trying to rest without being able to get much pain relief or enjoy walks in the sun with the grandchildren. 

So on this lovely afternoon I sat in the doctor’s office for a couple hours waiting for my dad and working on some of my Bible study. 

I was challenged in today’s study to evaluate the Song of Solomon and it’s mysterious messages about our Christian life with Christ. I’m humbled & grateful to have only known good, decent, upstanding, moral love from those who’ve been in my life. But Beth Moore addresses those who haven’t experienced love & pursuit that way. I’ve known many, and some intimately throughout my life, who have been victims of abuse (whether emotional, sexual, physical). It is very difficult when you’ve been a victim to see God as safe. The warping of a person’s identity effects the way he/she relates to God. 

And this made me think- I’ve taken these beautiful pictures of my little life in this corner of the world, and it would be easy for you, reader, to believe that all is as wonderful as those apple blossoms, blue skies, and fresh eggs. But it’s not. I wrestle with God continually over my health, over my children, over my losses & questions. I bet you do, too. I bet you take gorgeous pictures of moments in your life, and you, too, wish you felt as beautiful on the inside. 

I don’t have a nicely packaged conclusion. I’m not a glossy Christian. Frankly, the times I spend in the scriptures are fraught with tension and confusion and frustration. But my one consolation is that God GETS IT. I can’t make heads or tails out of most stuff, but I just keep coming back to him, again and again. And he’s always there. A comforting presence. A constant reality. A faithful companion. A lover and a healer. 

May Jesus be with you today- wherever you’ve been and whatever you’re enduring and wherever you’re going. 

In the hands of the potter,

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