Grief
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Wishing :: Wondering

Those who’ve been watching us grieve these past three and a half years tend to think that the holidays hit the hardest. No presents under the tree for Heidi, no Easter dress for Heidi, no birthday party for Heidi. And although that is absolutely so painful for us -and we do dread those more celebrated times- I find that some of the most mundane daily stuff is deeply, even bitterly, painful for me.

It’s wishing I could braid her hair…

It’s wondering if she’d adore pink…

It’s wanting her to make cookies with us…

It’s missing the snuggles and sweet kisses…

It’s longing to be a complete family…

The Holy Spirit has brought to mind several times recently the scripture from Ecclesiastes- “The rain falls on the just and the unjust.” I don’t get it, but that’s a fact of life. We all suffer. We all go through dark times. We all hurt. We’re either in it, leaving it, or going into it. Ya know?

Maybe your daughter didn’t die in your arms like my Heidi did, but maybe you’ve suffered other losses or other deep wounds. And you wonder how you’ll get through the little things each day. Grief is VERY real. It is with us always. But we can learn to grieve well. And to live with our pain well.

In the wishing, wondering, wanting, missing, and longing- I pray you’ll find a corner where you can be you with God, where you can sort through these tough things. It’s the little things and the littles places in life that define us.

-BBM

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