I had a recent conversation with someone I love & respect, and in this conversation I was being prodded and challenged to consider why I write what I write. I was taken aback that my loved one didn’t understand the backbone of my writings. It was jarring to me and I’ve taken a backseat to think things through. Why DO I blog? What am I trying to convey to readers? What do I care about in my own life? Why do I verbalize the raw parts of my life?
So, I’ll share my journal notes to myself about why I blog and then you can comment about what you think of it. How’s that? Discussion is good. Feedback is good. Sometimes I feel like I’m just blogging out into the void, but then some of you write to me privately about your own stories and your own inspirations. That means a lot to me. I think that most of the time I write for therapeutic reasons and as a form of artistic outlet, but I choose to live as an open-book, allowing others to peer into my mind and heart.
- For me, being a wife & mother means being a student of life itself. I try to mull over daily life incidences and what I’m learning from them; I read self-help books and autobiographies and novels and historical accounts and blogger’s thoughts to help round-out my own perspective of how to live; I comb through the Bible and attend church and listen to Christian speakers as inspiration for doing life well. So, I like to blog about this journey and the things I discover as a wife & mother.
- I can’t call myself an artist, because I currently make no living from doing any of it, but I dabble in learning the guitar, working with watercolor paints, and I intend to create my own home business as a potter of clay. These things are all a work in progress, and I currently don’t have much to show for it, but I find that I have to be creative & pursue art in order to process life and myself and God. So, now and then you’ll see posts about my creative endeavors.
- Even though I say damn & shit sometimes, I don’t mean to be crude or demeaning about life in Christ; I’m trying to be real about the rawness of walking with God this side of heaven. I worshipped God before my daughter Heidi died, and now I worship him in a whole new way. Before the devastation of death, I worshipped God with a simplistic trust- I took him at face value and I lived my life reasonably; but now I worship God with a fierce faith- I’m completely vulnerable with him, I’m loud & obnoxious at times, and I’m insistent about relationships & community in Christ. So, I like to post about being a worshipper of God and what that looks like from a wounded, torn, conflicted yet courageous perspective.
- Point number 3 hinges on point number 4 of why I write what I write. I’m not afraid to talk about death, grief, trauma, pain, suffering, sadness, loss, devastation. In fact, I’d like to write about being a sufferer and sojourner more. It seems to me that this is a fact of life- there are trials and there are many for ALL of us humans. Some of us get hit over the head again and again; some of us are dealt a blow that blasts us; and others of us stumble along at a snail’s pace. But we all suffer and we all sojourn. That’s the camaraderie and the story we share. So, I like to blog about the real stuff of life, the stuff that makes us think and feel and wonder and pursue.
I share pictures in my posts not to make you think that everything is smiles, beauty, and success (because it’s not). Rather, I share pictures to add realism, warmth, color, and light to the bones of what I write. I want be alive, to come off the screen, to be sharing coffee with you, to be walking this road alongside of you. If I share what I really see and what I really think, it puts the things of life into meaning and reality and dimension. Sharing pictures also helps me journal, therapeutically digest & absorb, the simple things that keep me going. You know what I mean?
So there you have it, loved ones & friends & visitors. That’s why I have a blog, that’s why I write what I write, that’s why I let my life be an open-book 💙