All posts tagged: motherhood

Why :: Write

I had a recent conversation with someone I love & respect, and in this conversation I was being prodded and challenged to consider why I write what I write. I was taken aback that my loved one didn’t understand the backbone of my writings. It was jarring to me and I’ve taken a backseat to think things through. Why DO I blog? What am I trying to convey to readers? What do I care about in my own life? Why do I verbalize the raw parts of my life? So, I’ll share my journal notes to myself about why I blog and then you can comment about what you think of it. How’s that? Discussion is good. Feedback is good. Sometimes I feel like I’m just blogging out into the void, but then some of you write to me privately about your own stories and your own inspirations. That means a lot to me. I think that most of the time I write for therapeutic reasons and as a form of artistic outlet, but I …

Forever :: Friendship

It is difficult for our friends – who have not lost or suffered greatly – to understand and enter into the pain of those of us who are grieving. What can they do to lighten our darkness? What can they say to give hope? How can they unlock the cold devastation that has quarantined us? — My best best friend and I have a unique and unusual friendship. We have literally known each other our entire lives. We’ve never known life without each other. Born two months apart, our parents members of the same church, growing up the first five years in the same county, remaining pen pals half a world apart for eight years, living together part of high school, meeting our spouses online and marrying six months apart qualifies us as the most bonded best friends ever. In our opinion 😉 We’re quite obviously sisters from another mother since we’re a foot apart in height, she’s the natural beauty and I’m plain jane.  But when Heidi died I didn’t hear from her. My …

Look Out :: Heidi Lee

Heidigirl,┬áI bet you’ll be my best pregnancy and my best birth. I was at my best when I carried you and when I brought you into this world. Do you remember all the things we did and all the moments we shared? Do you remember being born at lightning speed? I want to relive the memories with you, Heidi Lee, so you wanna look at some pictures with me? Your Daddy and I were SHOCKED- to put it mildly- that we were having a baby. We wanted to keep the announcement on the DL, so we waited till you’d been around for 16 weeks, and then we had these pictures taken on Memorial Day weekend (by the ever talented Abby Vencil & Emma Potter- they both got to meet you when you were born, remember?). Good ol’ Luke- he was getting worn out from a life well lived, but he kept himself going till you came along. And good little Molle…. I’m sure you remember all the crazy loud, ridiculously wacky moments I had with …

To: Little Person

Dear Sweet Little Person, That’s what I call you most of the time. Little Person. It just seems to suit you. You sure are adorable. I look forward to starting every day with you, to dressing you in fashionable little outfits, to nursing you, laughing with you, dancing with you, getting you up from a nap. You smile all day long, it seems, and even when I’ve been out of sorts about something you’re still happy. What a blessing you have been to your grieving parents. We didn’t know we needed you, but God knew we needed you. I often wonder who you will be and what you will show me about life. I’m almost certain you’ll be a charmer and flirter (much to your father’s chagrin! ­čśë ). I have so many ideas of things you could do and things you might love. Will you love playing with dolls like I did? Would you enjoy doing martial arts? What about horse-back riding (we really want you take lessons!)? Will you care for every fuzzy …

Gratitude: Moment by Moment

Holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas and Independence Day are my favorites. Any excuse to have a party, I always say. This is why I love Pinterest! Tons of ┬áideas for decorations and festive creations. Like that cover photo I snagged┬áfrom my board Festive | Holiday┬á: perfect little place setting for a farm house Thanksgiving dinner! But I didn’t even pull off small bits of holiday style this year. My hands are so full with my new bundle of joy and my brain is so sleep deprived that late night pinning does not transform into tomorrow’s crafty project. Alas, most of my holiday inspirations are unachievable this year and I will have to settle for instant mashed potatoes, one partially dead pumpkin on the front porch, and our plain old unfestive farm house. Don’t get me wrong. Even though I’m not capable of being Pioneer Woman this year, I am still enjoying this holiday season. Last year my husband and I barely survived the holiday season. Heidibird, our firstborn, passed away unexpectedly, so we didn’t want to …