All posts tagged: Christmas

Christmas :: Morning

This certainly is the strangest Christmas morning I’ve ever had. I’m alone on my couch in the pajamas I’ve worn for the past three days, I’m sick with something like the croup, my husband is working, my daughter is having a sleepover with Granddaddy & Grandmother, my baby is asleep in his crib. It’s certainly not the toughest Christmas I’ve ever had. Christmas 2014 that we should’ve had with Heidi, but she was suddenly gone before Thanksgiving, was virtually unbearable and I am amazed every year as we look back that we survived it… I don’t mourn the lack of Heidi’s presence on this day as much as I think I would… I know that she is safe and well and happy, and I have no doubts of seeing her again and being with our Savior for eternity. But I’ll tell you what does get me- watching my other two beautifully innocent children and wondering what their future in this broken world will be… I mourn that more deeply, in a way, than I do …

My: Christmas Gift

The Christmas gift that God had in the works last Christmas. Having another baby wasn’t on my wish list. I’m amazed when I look at him now, snuggled up by our tree. Last year was SO hard. I felt like I was reliving two of my nightmares all over again- losing Heidi and almost losing Everley. I just didn’t know what to do with myself- all my fears and all that pain. But Christ has prevailed with his plans yet again. I am grateful. From the bottom of my heart I am grateful that he’s carried me and that he’s given such a dear gift to treasure 🎁 Jesus is the reason for the season. -BBM

Home: For the Holidays

Merry Christmas! For us “Christmas” lasts until January first, and then we begin the letdown into non-holiday winter. Is that how it is for you guys?? It’s been crazy over here the past few days in our neck of the woods. Wrapping and ripping, feuds and laughter, hormones and balance, tears and smiles. We’re full of contradictions! I hope it’s been a tolerable holiday for those of you who haven’t wanted to go through it, and I hope it’s been delightful for those of you who’ve looked forward to it. I’d mentioned in a Insta post around Thanksgiving that I might do a Holiday House Tour, since I do love the holiday season and really enjoyed decorating our humble abode this year. So I snapped a few pictures to share of our simply charming cottage. A bit overdue, I apologize :/ When the Little Person has a cold, it’s difficult to find time to post. I’ll tell you bits and pieces of the property’s history and the story of how we fell in love with …

Through: the Forest

You know that phrase, “seeing the trees through the forest”? We referred to it often when I was a Vision Therapist. Sometimes we are so focused on the tree in front of us and the tree to our left and the tree to our right that we become overwhelmed… as a result we’ve lost perspective and we’ve gotten lost in the forest of trees. We’re no longer seeing the trees that make up the whole forest. (In Vision Therapy this is known as central focus and parafieral awareness 😉)  The holiday season for us is much like this phenamanon. We tend to just see all the trees -sadness, despair, loss, misery- and no forest -God who is sovereign over these emotions. Or we see a thick dense forest of pain and anger that will consume us and we miss the individual trees of blessing and hope.  It is difficult to explain to those who have not suffered during the holiday season how much resentment, turmoil, and bitterness is wrapped up under the cheer, lights, ornaments, …

Christmas: My Miracle

We all look for some little miracle during the Christmas season. Even if it’s the miracle of our spouse remembering what we really wanted under the tree, or just remembering again the miracle of Jesus’s birth in a stable manger. We want to see a miracle. It’s the season for miracles. Well, would you like to hear about my Christmas miracle this year? It’s quite a story of brokenness and redemption. The gift of miracles when it seemed all hope was lost. As I’ve reminisced and revisited memories of this past year in two letters written to two different women who have also tragically lost, I’ve shared my heart about the events of 2015 and how we ended up surviving & arriving at Christmas this year. In these excerpts you’ll see the miracle of this Christmas….   A few days or weeks, time was a blur, after Heidi’s sudden death I was able to visualize the whole event in my mind. For a while I blocked it, which is a common response to trauma. I …

Giving: Gifts for the Grieving

My love language is certainly gift giving; I find much joy in receiving a simple well intentioned gift from a loved one, and I thrill in thinking up what sorts of gifts to give someone for any occasion. Naturally, it meant a great deal to receive meaningful gifts our first Christmas without our daughter Heidi. Since she was born in November and we had anticipated sharing those nostalgic winter holidays with her, we barely made it through the season. But many friends, and others we don’t even know, reached out to us with presents for our pain. We’ve decided to use Heidi’s stocking to fill each Christmas with gifts for those we know are suffering. Since we’re in the midst of the twelve days of Christmas, here’s a list of twelve gift ideas for the grieving: I received a crocheted purple prayer shawl, which I loved curling up with while reading and contemplating on those dark somber winter days. Obviously I love to read and a childhood friend saw that I was pinning many books …

Sunday Morning : North Star

  “For I know that my Redeemer lives… And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another.” -Book of Job 19:25-27     May the compass of our hearts be pointing due north – as in Job’s heart, as in the magi’s hearts – so as to have true Hope that though this life is mortal, we are immortal through the resurrection of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior; He has made a way for us and we can trust in His righteousness, His complete authenticity. We will be with Him forever in paradise. Thank you, God, for this eternal gift through your Son Jesus. Mary, the mother of Jesus, proclaimed with joy of her miraculous pregnancy: “My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior… And His mercy is for those who fear Him from generation to generation… He has helped His servant Israel in remembrance of His mercy” -Book of …