After finishing his breakfast and depositing his dishes onto the counter, he began flinging wide the cabinet doors, inspecting collections of dishware, pulling out all cutlery, and throwing away pens and twistyties…
They should make a commercial of his frenetic cleaning skills.
I walked into the chaos as he threw up his hands in disgust, “This kitchen needs a makeover! There are junk drawers, and piles of business cards we never use, utensils we don’t use anymore, way too many mugs, and…”
Okay, I got the picture. I started to ask some preliminary questions to make sure we were on the same page, “Is this a project you’d like to do today? Is this something you’d like to work on together? What do you think the five main problem areas are of this room?”
So my husband and I did a little roll playing exercise that our counselor had taught us to do so that we will communicate more effectively and stay on the same page.
“Hi, Manly. Wow. Looks like you’ve got a project going on here. What’s up?”
“Hey Babe, I was just looking around the kitchen thinking that it could be spruced up a little. I’d like to take a couple hours to work on this. Would you be willing to join me?”
“Sure I would!”
And off we went and we had a great time doing it together.
Hey, when moments like that come up with yourself or your spouse, don’t let yourself or the other person get away with it. Say something like, “It’s really tough to work as a team when we talk like that. I’d love to do this together. If we can’t compromise on that right now, let’s focus on a different aspect of this project together, okay?”
But if we want to do something well, like organize our house or help our spouse or plan a family event, we’ve gotta work together as a team. My husband and I work pretty darn hard on sticking together as a unit, and it’s very challenging.
But hey, we role play like robots, declutter drawers, dust the vases, and actually enjoy being together – that’s what counts in the end. ☺️