Marriage
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Day 5: Own It

Counseling has been one of those things for us. We really really need it. When we were dating we met with a couple who’s 15 years older than we are to talk about relationship stuff- who’s in this triangle? how’s the triangle working? are we making this work for you, me and God, or just one angle of this triangle? You know, good thoughtful stuff like that. Then we met with our church’s teaching elder and his wife to discuss deeper and broader concepts concerning the institution of marriage in the weeks and months leading up to our wedding vows. Then we got married. And it all went out the window. 

You’d think we were well prepared and had our act together and matured steadily and easily. But we haven’t. That hasn’t been our story. We’ve WORKED -our asses off- to get good at this marriage thing. We’ve fought and cried and apologized and forgiven and prayed and replayed it and redone it and reworked it. 

Professional counseling would’ve helped a lot when we first got married, but we were young and focused on our careers. The reason we fell into counseling is that our daughter died tragically and we couldn’t process anything, much less survive and thrive together. We were sinking and sinking fast. 

Typically, that’s how it happens. We get help when things are really really bad. You know what I’m talkin about, right? But we’re here to say: Own It. Get help when you need it and while you need it. You’re human and I’m human. We don’t live perfect lives, who are we kidding? Life has tons of challenges and we’re all rough around the edges for one reason or another. It works to improve life, to learn how to grow together, to make a home with each other and feel safe with each other. But that requires work. Don’t be afraid to do that. Look for resources in your area, put the next foot forward, own your stuff, make the most of every day God has given you. 

That’s our advice. 

-Manly & Babe

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