All posts filed under: Motherhood

Favorites: Nine Months

Just three more months till my second baby girl turns one year old!!! How can this be happening!? It is so hard to believe how much she’s changed from nine weeks early to nine months old… My how time flies! I never knew such multiplied joy could be wrapped up in one tiny Little Person. EveyMarie, you rock my world to overflowing every day. For those of you, readers, who love all things baby, here’s a list of five things/tidbits I’ve been enjoying with Everley during this fun stage (click on titles for more info). Below those is a collage of some recent exclusive pictures with her favorites 🙂 <3 Stokke Tripp Trapp: She’s graduated to the high chair! Not only does she sit up comfortably in the seat, but she’s also right up at the table, and I love that about this kiddie contraption. It’s low profile, suiting our tiny dining room, and has comfortable over the shoulder straps that grow with the child. That being said, this chair converts over time to suit the …

Look Out :: Heidi Lee

Heidigirl, I bet you’ll be my best pregnancy and my best birth. I was at my best when I carried you and when I brought you into this world. Do you remember all the things we did and all the moments we shared? Do you remember being born at lightning speed? I want to relive the memories with you, Heidi Lee, so you wanna look at some pictures with me? Your Daddy and I were SHOCKED- to put it mildly- that we were having a baby. We wanted to keep the announcement on the DL, so we waited till you’d been around for 16 weeks, and then we had these pictures taken on Memorial Day weekend (by the ever talented Abby Vencil & Emma Potter- they both got to meet you when you were born, remember?). Good ol’ Luke- he was getting worn out from a life well lived, but he kept himself going till you came along. And good little Molle…. I’m sure you remember all the crazy loud, ridiculously wacky moments I had with …

Kiddo :: Diddo

Dear Little Hiccup, I never thought I’d be able to say again “You are my sunshine” after your sister Heidi passed away. I never thought I’d share her clothes, her toys, her quilts, her rocking chair with another baby. I just figured my heart wasn’t big enough and that God wasn’t going to give us another child. I want you to know that even though your Daddy and I miss your big sister a ton, we don’t love you less than we love her and we don’t love you more than we love her. We love you because God gave us you. We love you because you’re you. We love you because you are precious, because you have an eternal soul. You keep your Mama laughing, KiddoDiddo. You give me reason to live. You make me want to try harder. You make me want to keep living. You make me want to be the best I can be. You make me want to love deeper and sweeter. Wherever you go in life, keep doing that, …

Mother: Tears & Wings

Mother’s Day 2015 I screamed out from the depth of my soul and shouted into the wind through rushing tears, “I just want my first daughter back. Please, why can’t I have her? Why is she gone?” My husband stood by speechless, sullen, torn, unable to comfort. Mother’s Day 2016 I kiss the tender tears of my second daughter, hold her to my breast, pray for her through Jesus, and bless the Lord for His mercy toward me. My husband and I drink in her sweet smell and listen to the music of her coos.       I am a wounded woman but I am not a broken woman. I am the mother of two daughters – a precious bluebird flown to Heaven and her little sister with tiny wings.    

To: Little Person

Dear Sweet Little Person, That’s what I call you most of the time. Little Person. It just seems to suit you. You sure are adorable. I look forward to starting every day with you, to dressing you in fashionable little outfits, to nursing you, laughing with you, dancing with you, getting you up from a nap. You smile all day long, it seems, and even when I’ve been out of sorts about something you’re still happy. What a blessing you have been to your grieving parents. We didn’t know we needed you, but God knew we needed you. I often wonder who you will be and what you will show me about life. I’m almost certain you’ll be a charmer and flirter (much to your father’s chagrin! 😉 ). I have so many ideas of things you could do and things you might love. Will you love playing with dolls like I did? Would you enjoy doing martial arts? What about horse-back riding (we really want you take lessons!)? Will you care for every fuzzy …

Trust: Amidst the Unknown

October 19th, 2014 I wrote a letter to my husband about the anticipated arrival of our treasured firstborn daughter. She was born a few days later on November first. August 14th, 2015 I wrote a letter to God about the anticipated arrival of our second precious daughter. She was born a few days later August twenty-first. Recording ideas and feelings can be a simple process of putting pen to paper. But the process was more than that when I wrote what I wrote. In retrospect I believe it was inspired by the Holy Spirit. It’s as if the paper has now come to life loudly proclaiming that my wishes and my prayers were heard, yes, and specifically, profoundly answered in my times of need….   A portion of the letter I wrote to my husband before Heidi Lee’s birth: “We don’t know when she’ll arrive. She is due November fifteenth, but she may come any time between now and early December. May her debut be as soft and glowy and subtle as these late fall …

VB // Hello!

Here’s me “in person,” introducing myself to you!   My next video blog will be about accepting grief, and it’s not a sad post, just so you know. I’ve recorded a few thoughts for those of us who wrestle with contentment in the midst of our tragedies. My goal is to post a personal thought/video once a week, so stay tuned, friends!

Curious: Belly Bubble

Autumn is a subdued, settled season for me. The slide from red to orange to brown and then the slump into gray mellows me into contemplative, introverted, creative solitude. How apropos that I should be having my first child during this season as it affords me the luxury of misty mornings, crisp afternoons, subtle evenings; I relax and rest and quietly nest and wait in our little abode on the hill.

The Mommy Diaries (3)

I often look myself in the mirror and say, “I can’t believe you’re having a kid. You’re still a kid.” Alas, we are all children when we have children. It seems that is just how God designed it to be. When I was a kid, I really liked to dress up and… imagine that… I still like to dress up! I guess because I never grew up, haha. I’ve been finding new ways to wear outfits with this third trimester belly. Amazingly enough, there are only four more weeks left until Baby Girl’s due date. I wouldn’t be surprised if she delays her debut, so it actually could be seven more weeks till we get to meet her. Ah, C’est la vie. In any case, it seems it’s a gradual change of season from warmer to cooler, and I am still getting by with a few non-maternity sweater tops from last year’s wardrobe and some of my favorite maternity staples.