Year: 2017

Why :: Write

I had a recent conversation with someone I love & respect, and in this conversation I was being prodded and challenged to consider why I write what I write. I was taken aback that my loved one didn’t understand the backbone of my writings. It was jarring to me and I’ve taken a backseat to think things through. Why DO I blog? What am I trying to convey to readers? What do I care about in my own life? Why do I verbalize the raw parts of my life? So, I’ll share my journal notes to myself about why I blog and then you can comment about what you think of it. How’s that? Discussion is good. Feedback is good. Sometimes I feel like I’m just blogging out into the void, but then some of you write to me privately about your own stories and your own inspirations. That means a lot to me. I think that most of the time I write for therapeutic reasons and as a form of artistic outlet, but I …

God: Gets It

Wanna see what I’ve been doing today?? I post my raw photos here on the blog but the edited ones are on Instagram, if you want to hit me up (📸bleubirdmama). I’ll give you some anecdotes for these shots… First, this is by far the strangest thing I’m doing today:  I am pregnant with our third and I’m calling this the pregnancy of infections. I’ve had a touch of something unpleasant with each of them; all women experience their immune system being compromised in at least the first trimester. With Heidi I contracted the flu twice in one month’s time; with Everley I had strep throat; with this little person I’ve had a random fungus or some kind of infection in my big toe as well as a cyst become inflamed as well as random bouts of vomiting as well as a staph infection in my thumb. Uggggg. It’s not been a fun pregnancy thus far.  I went to see a podiatrist about my toe to find out if there was a way to kill …

Who’s :: There

I’ve been working my way through a Beth Moore Bible study titled Breaking Free. I chose to host a study group in my home this year, because I knew my availability as a stay-at-home mother would be limited; and I also wanted to invite anyone in my community to share & fellowship. Despite having good reasons for it, I was also hesitant & apprehensive. I thought, “Break free? Do I even want to know what this sort of study will entail? I think I just want to stay in my corner of grief & sadness. I don’t think I can ever break free from the fact that my firstborn daughter died in my arms.” So, in case you think I’m a goody-goody Christian girl, think again. I’ll tell you the truth before you read the rest of this post- I haven’t broken free from my pain & suffering. I’ve actually come to accept it and live with it and see God there with me in it. I think sometimes that’s all those of us who …

Parenting: Tips & Tricks

I’ve been thinking this morning about some of the tips & tricks of parenting that were modeled & taught to me the years before I became a parent. I’m no expert on parenting, obviously, being at the beginning of my journey. But I appreciate those who’ve shared their stories of trials, failures & triumphs with me. I try to think of the bigger picture and life principles as I build into my family. I’m surely not always good at that. But hey, what else can you do as a parent than put your best foot forward?  My mom (one of my many role-models) is in her 70s and, boy, does she have some pearls of wisdom (raised three boys and a girl, how could she not!). She’s one of those that’s made herself a student of life, and when we were kids she made herself a student of early childhood development. In my opinion, that’s a subject she’s well-versed in and can share a good deal of wisdom about. Something simple she taught me concerning …

Home :: Remedies

I’ve had the most productive sick day. And I don’t mean productive like most days, running around with errands and emails and checkups and deadlines. I mean, productively and proactively working with my body to fight the virus. It felt so good to stop everything and focus on my body’s needs, and I admit I was quite proud of myself for researching home remedies and concocting what I needed.  Saturday morning I hit the road with the Little Person to visit some good friends of ours with the intention of attending my other friend’s surprise 30th birthday party. But on the way there I felt a head cold coming on, which I tried my best to hope & pray away. It didn’t work. By that evening, I had to ask my friends for a decongestant and put myself to bed by 8pm. The next morning I packed up and headed back home. TLP was immune to my illness and delighted to have older kids dote on her and play dollhouse.  I arrived home groggy but …

Be :: Mine

Why do we celebrate Valentine’s Day? I don’t actually know, I’m embarrassed to admit. I know of Saint Valentine and I know of the old practice, spreading love to all. What that morphed into in my family was Daddy bringing flowers home in a crystal vase for Mom, boxes of chocolates, Hallmark cards with sappy sayings, and stuffed animals for me 💕 What it has looked like in my marriage is another thing… Manly, truthfully, sucks at holidays & gift-giving. It’s just not his thing. And he’s not trying to be rude. He just doesn’t think of it ahead of time, and then when it’s rolled around he asks, “Oh is that today?” If left to himself, the holidays would just roll on by. But he’s not left to himself 😉 Enter his sentimental event-planning sappy-card-writing ENFP wife! 🎉 I look forward to every holiday on the calendar with all they entail, the crafty ideas, the fancy recipes, the silly traditions, the obligatory photos. SO, here’s the deal: Manly is married to me and those …

Simply :: Not

I’ve been wanting to write lately about the simple moments of my life; like this little cabin bear that’s growing up far too quickly. Soon she won’t be such a little bear, she’ll be a medium bear with a medium bowl of porridge & cushioned chair ☺️ And then share a witty moment like this when my dog finds her nook in the baby’s teepee. Sometimes Molle really is a doll (except for when she’s not…. and eaten a farm chicken for lunch). Or days like this when we had 75 degree blue skies weather the day before, but then the winter storm blew in across that mountain there, blanketing our farm in charming white. It’s the simple moments that get me…. But it’s impossible for me to not consider the other not-so-simple things of life. Like my anger issues, my relationships, my words, my parenting skills, my strength to get through another day…. Maybe you saw my post on the FB page & Instagram about my very BAD morning when my husband told me …

February :: Breeze

The winter has been, in a way, a relaxing time; we don’t work as much on the property when the ground is frozen and the hours of light are shorter. But the winter has been exhausting for us, too, because we’ve had to make some changes in our plans and dreams, we’ve had to re-evaluate our boundaries & limitations, we’ve had to emotionally invest in taxing ways.  At this time I’m not able to divulge about all the changes, but take my word for it, we’re in a slow processing mode right now. That’s one of my favorite terms for life: processing. We just don’t give enough credit for how important “processing” is and how much effort and energy our little human brains make in processing life. In order to accept challenges and changes, we have to process it, and that takes time for all of us.  I have certainly learned this in grief, and I continue to learn this about myself as a wife & mother. I slowly process new demands in my responsibilities, …