Month: September 2016

DIY: Baby Teepee

Maybe my life seems melancholy to my readers, and I don’t actually want my blog content to be so serious. (Hence, I wrote about my two loveable labs a bit ago “Lick, Love, and Learn” πŸ˜‰ My life is not dull, in spite of my deeper thoughts, and I only need a mini farm to keep it lively around here.  I’m up at the crack of dawn just about every day for the gardening, chickens, and other animals. Shortly after I’m up so is the tiny two-legged one πŸ˜‰ There’s lots of action here to be had. And I go to bed utterly exhausted.  However, last night I really wanted to finally complete this side project I’ve been working on. I’m not sure why I say “side” project because, the truth is, I am always making something. I see a picture or a design or hear something or think up something and I say to me, myself, and I, “We could make that ourselves!” Yes, it’s very silly. As if I didn’t already have so …

Darker :: Days

When I lay [my] questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of No answer. It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but in waving the question. Like, “Peace, child; you don’t understand.” -C.S. Lewis I recently experienced a very heavy darkness that lasted about a month- through E’s first birthday. While Little Hiccup transitions into being a year old, with all the successes and failures of it, I am broken hearted, my soul is downcast within me- that I never got to watch my daughter Heidi grow through those changes.  Not only have I wept, I have also been angry. “Fuck. No one else will have their baby taken from them in the middle of the night. No one else but me. I’m alone. No one knows the depths of my pain.” I have shouted that through the darkness of my soul. If I’m honest with myself, I’m railing at God.  Why? …